Just once
by Himawari
Summary: revised She hadn't meant for it to go so far. the next day she knew it was a mistake. she really did love Tamahome. It was wrong! But he'd be too drunk to remember, right? MiaxTas please r&r!
1. Chapter 1

Himuwari: Hello, welcome to a quick oneshot I wrote! There's nothing much you need to know for this but sorry if it's not that great, I'm still new so try to cut me some slack! And yes, I know the priestess is supposed to be a virgin and all, but just play along for this ok! KK, here!

Just once

She hadn't meant for it to go so far. When she awoke the next morning, she knew what a mistake it was... after all, she really did love Tamahome. But, it was just this once... she'd never do anything like this again... it was just this once. And besides, he'd probably be too drunk to remember, right?

That's what really started this whole thing, Miaka decided, running down the hall to her rooms before anyone else could wake up.

Yes. It was Tasuki's fault! It had to be! After all, he was the one who had been drinking like a fish last night. If he had been clear headed, it wouldn't have happened!

True, Miaka had volunteered to take him up to his room, but it wasn't like anyone else was jumping up to help the orange-haired bandit! She'd managed to drag him up the stairs of the inn, barely, while all the while he was mumbling some rather, inappropriate things. Everything would've been fine... normal. She would've gotten him into bed and retreated immediately to her room...it would've been fine...if only he hadn't kissed her.

Miaka was certain Tasuki hadn't been aware of what he was doing... but still... it was really his fault! Miaka had meant to stop the kiss, had meant to pull away... but, it was just that once, right? She could kiss him once because she'd never do it again. So, she hadn't pulled away. Besides... she wouldn't let it go farther than that.

Miaka was suprised when the taste of alchohol on his lips didn't repulse her... it was just...different. Tasuki had embraced her, snaking his arms about her waist... the way she'd wanted to and had been embraced by Tamahome, held tightly but in a loving manner. And she'd let Tasuki hold her... Miaka would stop him before it got too far. Besides, Tasuki didn't know what he was doing, right?

She had felt an odd sensation when his tongue had brushed her lips. That's when curiousity won out and she'd opened her mouth for him. It was just once... and she could stop him. She had just wondered what it would be like to dance with someone else's tongue.

She suddenly found his hair facinating, entwining her fingers through the fire-like locks, unknowingly pulling him closer. She just wanted to know what kissing him felt like... but she'd stop him before it got too far.

After a moment, Miaka realized her jacket was gone and her hair was loose. She didn't remember being shed of the garment or him untying her hair... but that was ok... she'd stop him soon.

The kiss finally broke from a need to breathe, but Tasuki started instead to trail kisses along her jaw and down her neck. Miaka felt her body tremble in reaction to those light touches, felt her heart beating faster. And that's when something clicked inside her mind. Something that seemed to be chiding...

'You've gone too far, you've gone too far.'

And Miaka realized too late that that was true. She realized too late that she'd past the point of no return.

From there on, Miaka found herself helpless against the spell Tasuki had woven around her, found herself helpless to push him away... too caught up in the moment. And it was all his fault... he didn't know what he was doing... but it was all his fault... right?

Miaka rushed into her room and fell onto her bed, memories of his touch, his voice, his kisses playing through her mind... and she knew it was a mistake, such a terrible mistake... even if it was just once.


	2. Chapter 2

Himawari: I had a few requests for a 'sequel chapter' and here it is! This one is told from Tasuki's POV. And please review if you read this! And I just want to give HUGE thanks to my new beta... vegetasmate2... LOVE YOU and thanks so much! You rock... and I'm expecting you to get lots of hugs from reviewers (cough, cough).

Just a dream

Tasuki groaned as the sunlight pierced his window and invaded his eyes... oh, his sensitive eyes! He turned onto his stomach in an attempt to block out the torturing rays, flinging his blankets up over his head. Subconsciously, the fire-haired bandit reached out for a warmth he expected would be beside him, and looked up confused when he found it missing. Tasuki frowned at the emptiness in the bed beneath his hand... bereft of a warmth he remembered... a warmth from a young priestess who had shared that very bed with him through the night.

Tasuki sat up slowly, studying the other side of the bed with befuddled golden eyes.

Had it... had it all just been a dream? Tasuki's brow furrowed as he furiously tried to focus through his hangover. His mind was still fuzzy and the sun continued to pound against his golden eyes, only intensifying his headache and making his stomach churn.

That couldn't have been a dream... it was just too real. Sure, he'd been drunk plenty of times and had had similar dreams, but never one THAT convincing. Just what had happened last night?

Tasuki stumbled to the blinds and slammed them shut, wincing at the noise before collapsing once more onto his bed. He rubbed his temples in an attempt to soothe his pounding head, just long enough to recall exactly what happened last night. He remembered the bar and ordering several bottles of sake... though he really didn't need a clear memory to know he had drank like a fish last night. It was obvious from his overly sensitive eyes and rolling stomach. He recalled nearly falling off of his stool and someone grabbing him to help him up. He remembered gentle hands and a small form helping to guide/drag him up to his room. He remembered a tan outfit, pale legs, and brown hair with a scent that sent shock waves through his body.

That HAD been Miaka... hadn't it?

Had it really been her? He had been able to smell her, to hear her, to feel her as she helped him upstairs... surely that part hadn't been a dream. But what about the rest of it? He had to admit that he often dreamt of being with Miaka, had often dreamt of being the one she lavished with attention at dinner instead of Tamahome. Some of his dreams had even escalated to similar scenarios like the one last night...scenarios that would surely cause Tamahome to kill the bandit if he ever found out about such dreams. But the one from last night... it had been so... so REAL.

Tasuki could still smell her, could still feel his fingers running through her soft brown locks, could still taste her lips as he lavished them with his own. He couldn't recall what had possessed him to kiss her in the first place, but she hadn't resisted, hadn't told him to stop... so he hadn't.

He recalled vividly how he had kissed her neck, tasted the smooth skin there as her hands worked their way into his fiery hair. Hell, Tasuki could practically FEEL her body pressed against him, could still hear those gasps and moans of pleasure she had released for him. He remembered removing her clothes and how his golden eyes had raked hungrily over her form as he pressed her to the bed. But most of all, he recalled every move and sound she made when he had finally taken her. And she hadn't once told him to stop... hadn't once shown regret or fear of what he did to her. It had been so real... Miaka... had been with him.

That COULDN'T have been a dream!

Tasuki turned to study the empty bed once more. That's when he noticed it... the other side of the bed was still imprinted from someone lying next to him... the pillow still formed as if cradling a head. He leaned over slowly and inhaled, smelling immediately the scent that always haunted him. It was Miaka's scent... it set fire to his seishi symbol and caused flashes from last night to flood through his mind. No, it hadn't been a dream. Miaka had been there... with him.

So, why had she run away?

Tasuki gripped his head again, his thought process causing his head to pound even more than it had been. She had been with him by choice... from what he recalled there hadn't been any type of struggle. So why did she leave?

Maybe... she had just wanted to go get an early breakfast and had snuck out on him? For heaven's sake, that girl was the biggest glutton he'd ever met!

Doing his best to focus through the haze of pain, Tasuki dressed and headed out of his room. He wasn't surprised to find everyone already downstairs having breakfast. Mitsukake, remembering just how much sake he'd seen the bandit consume, had taken it upon himself to make Tasuki a drink to help the red head's hangover. Tasuki gratefully accepted the tonic and sipped while avoiding all forms of food. He looked about and was surprised to see Miaka was absent. So, it hadn't been breakfast... then where had she gone?

Tasuki truly began to panic, doing his best not to alert the others to his distress. What if Miaka had fought him the night before... and he just didn't remember? Sweet Suzaku! He'd never forgive himself if the like happened... but he could've sworn that there had been no struggle... still... was it possible?

At long last, his priestess descended the stairs and came to the table and Tasuki sighed in small relief. Miaka greeted everyone in her usual up-beat manner; however, she was avoiding Tasuki's gaze. Tasuki felt his panic return with a vengeance. He swallowed hard, excused himself, and bolted up the stairs to the nearest bathroom. Once there, he proceeded to puke his guts out in sick horror over what must have happened the night before.

He would never do that to Miaka... right? Oh Gods above, he WOULD NEVER hurt Miaka in any way! But... why else wouldn't she meet his gaze? Why had she left him? There was only one answer.

Tasuki sat on the floor; his head between his knees, trying desperately to sift through his sake clouded memories. He searched for something, ANYTHING, which would let him know for sure.

A soft knock sounded on the door.

"Out in a minute!" Tasuki yelled at the wood, trying to collect his rapidly fraying emotions.

"Tasuki? It's me... open the door," Miaka's voice floated back to him. Tasuki froze. Why did she sound... worried?

Tasuki pushed himself to his feet and headed to the door, sliding it open to face his priestess. Her brown eyes looked back at him, confusion, worry, and sadness in their depths. She offered a shaky smile and stepped back so he could enter the hall.

"I think there's something... we... need to talk about, Tasuki," Miaka choked out, sounding close to crying. Tasuki just nodded, swallowing hard.

"Sure thing," he answered, following her out of the hotel and to a pond out back. He watched her closely as she sat down and he settled down beside her. She didn't seem to be scared of him or anything, just emotional.

"Tasuki... about last night... I..."

"I'm sorry," Tasuki blurted out before Miaka could continue. Miaka's brown eyes looked over at him, slightly surpassed. "I'm so sorry, Miaka," Tasuki continued. "I don't remember everything as clearly as I'd like... but it was me who started it. I never should'a kissed ya... I know ya didn't wanna..."

"No, Tasuki," Miaka cut him off. "It's not your fault. I could've stopped you, or at least tried... but I didn't."

Miaka let out a heavy sigh. "I do care about you Tasuki, but... I still... I just..."

"Yer still in love with Tama," Tasuki finished for her. Miaka swallowed hard and nodded. Tasuki could tell she was holding back tears, and he couldn't feel more terrible. Miaka must have hated herself for what happened... must have been thinking she betrayed Tamahome. Tasuki sighed and gathered the crying priestess in his arms.

"It's gonna be ok, Miaka," he told her quietly.

"I betrayed him... and you... I'm so sorry," the chocolate haired girl sobbed into his shirt. Tasuki just brushed his hand through her hair.

"It's gonna be ok, Miaka, really," he tried again, trying to think of how to assure his priestess, how to get her smiling again. "Look, I know that Tama loves ya more than anythin', and no matter what happens... so will I. Ya won't lose either of us, Miaka... really."

"How can you know that? And how can you be so nice?" Miaka choked between sobs.

"Because I understand how much ya love Tama, and I know that last night was a mistake..." Tasuki told her quietly.

Inside his heart was nearly breaking, but he held it in for her sake. "Just promise me somethin' ok?"

"What?" Miaka pulled back to look up at her friend. Tasuki smiled sadly before wiping her tears away.

"You'll stay with Tama... and things won't get awkward between us... ok?" he mustered his best grin and felt a lot lighter when Miaka smiled back.

"Of course, Tasuki," she promised. They hugged tightly before standing and deciding to head back to breakfast.

"Thank you so much, Tasuki. For understanding," Miaka said quietly before pulling out of the embrace. Tasuki just smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Let's get back, huh?" he suggested. Miaka nodded and started inside as Tasuki watched her go. Tasuki sighed and ran a hand shakily through his hair.

It had seemed like Miaka had finally loved him, but once again, Tasuki was left alone. He sighed as he remembered Miaka's small smile.

Well, if it was what made her happy, then he would forget it. If it was what would make her happy, he'd let last night remain just another dream.

Himawari: Well, that's it for now... and Vegetasmate2... I'm having issues with my computer otherwise I would've sent this to you. If you see anything you want to fix, please e-mail it to me. Sorry, my comp's just malfunctioning... but I tried to send it to you. Anyway, love ya lots! (hugs) and please review! Thanks everyone!

VM2(Yahnkehy -): I adore this story, it's absolutely wonderful. Himawari-chan did a fabulous job of keeping the characters in character and made this a heartbreaking, yet sweet read. She really deserves the reviews, so go ahead and let her know how much you loved this piece. -


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